heavenly_red

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 08:54:10 GMT

sex rules

Fri, 09 Sep 2005 20:46:42 GMT

i am finally in oklahoma at my grandfather's house. i never thought i would get out of mississippi, inside a house with 35 other people, no privacy there. no where to gather my thoughts about our collective horror, just noise...constantly. and people trying to impose their religion on me. now, 2 days away, i am sitting in a small town, surrounded by family but still this intensity is overwhelming. there are no words to describe how badly i want a cocktail. and a parliament please.
i miss my friends so much...mostly i am feeling numb now. with a mixture of surging emotion on occasion. trying not to think too much. will be taking some online courses at a college close by. nothing will ever be the same. that keeps hitting me. over. over. over your life is gone. as it once was. the city will never be the same.
thank you thank you thank you ted. you have been here for me so much. i cannot wait to see you...

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 15:30:55 GMT

fall semester has started and i think my schedule is now fully in place. my adjustment took some tinkering and i am still upset about one of my classes being dropped due to lack of enrollment. i had to schedule another history class that does not excite me. perhaps i am being too judemental, perhaps it will be a break of some kind. hmmmph. i also had to drop my french class and in turn i scheduled a geology lab that i also have to take. at least next semester i will only have historical lab to endure. i do not mean to sound complacent. i just had an idea in my head, a complete plan for my last year and now i may have to attend summer session.
i am honestly looking forward to the semester even though two of my classes do absolutely nothing for me personally. two of my english classes already have sparked interest in my mind, that corner that bloomed years ago as a senior in high school. that year gave me so much inspiration and is one of the main reasons why i majored in english in the first place. matthew arnold, byron, keats...i havent studied these writers in years and now they are before me once more...this time as a woman not a young girl. even though i have regrets about my self inflicted seven year undergraduate plan, at least i can say i am willing now to take on this subject matter, analyze from an adult perspective and not cower away from a challenge. i have given up far too many times before. feeling brave, feeling ready, feeling very alive.
i apologize now for the ranting. had to release a bit.

Sat, 20 Aug 2005 02:24:18 GMT

ahhhh the past week has been an absolute blur. my nose is still being difficult and may i proclaim how sick i am of my bedroom!!! i detest this miserable cold! so the entire last week of summer lay wasted on my sheets along with many tissues. there is still tomorrow night-let's celebrate! any takers? a night of drinking and lovely conversation await all interested parties. and i do plan on updating more than once a week. excuse my behavior, madames and gentlemen callers. blame the drugged out nyquil(sp?) haze. ted can explain my stupor.
season finale of L-Word...long overdue. just a suggestion.

Sat, 13 Aug 2005 03:30:04 GMT

ahhh...i have finally given into the power and pull of live journal. school is about to begin, i am thirsty for transition...looking forward to my last stretch. two more semesters until my first goal, that dandy undergraduate degree. my seven year plan makes me want to laugh and cry simultaneously. alas, what has been so extremely familiar now carries promise, a conclusion. all of this time...my own evolution, the incredible friendships...so much gratitude here.